Motherhood, Career, and Self-Identity: A Journey of Individuation

Every year, International Women’s Day offers us a chance to reflect on the diverse experiences, strengths, and identities of women. This year, I find myself returning to a question raised during a brief Q&A session in a Taiwanese mommy-baby support group last Friday.

In just ten minutes, we barely scratched the surface of a topic that deserves far more depth: Why do some mothers of newborns feel a strong pull to become full-time moms, while others are eager to return to work after maternity leave?

This Taiwanese mommy-baby support group (灣區台灣媽媽寶寶支持團體) is a mother-initiated peer support group with professional support for Taiwanese immigrant mothers. They hold a virtual, weekly Friday peer support group from 12:00 to 13:00 for Taiwanese mothers in the Bay Area who have 0-6 month newborns. From March 2025 to September 2025 (except July), I will attend the last ten minutes of this group in the first week of each month to answer questions. Welcome to anyone who is interested in joining.

The answer, I believe, lies in the concept of self-identity. Our identities are not static; they are shaped by our experiences, values, and cultural backgrounds. And few life events have the power to reshape identity as profoundly as becoming a mother.

Motherhood as a Milestone in Individuation

From a Jungian perspective, motherhood is not just a role or responsibility; it is a pivotal stage in a woman’s individuation process—the journey of integrating different aspects of herself and navigating the psychological transformation that comes with this life transition. The presence of a newborn and the necessity of caregiving serve as catalysts for deep inner change.

As women take on the role of mother, they must confront new challenges, shifting priorities, and evolving identities, making this life transition a profound part of individuation. Individuation involves integrating different aspects of the psyche, confronting internal conflicts, and developing a deeper connection with the Self.

Additionally, the Jungian concept of the Great Mother plays a crucial role in this transformation. The Great Mother archetype embodies both the nurturing and destructive aspects of motherhood. As women step into the role of mother, they also undergo a process of embodying the power of the Great Mother—both its positive and negative dimensions. This power can manifest as deep love, protection, and wisdom, but also as overwhelming self-sacrifice, anxiety, or control.

Recognizing and integrating these dual aspects is a key part of a mother’s individuation journey.

For some women, their pre-motherhood identity is deeply intertwined with their career or personal ambitions. Returning to work may feel like reclaiming a part of themselves, an assertion that they are more than just their maternal role. Their professional life may be a source of fulfillment, structure, and self-worth. Their decision to return to work is not necessarily about rejecting motherhood but about integrating it into an already established sense of self.

On the other hand, some mothers find that the experience of childbirth and early motherhood dramatically shifts their sense of identity. Their priorities realign, and the desire to devote themselves fully to raising their child becomes central. For these mothers, stepping away from work is not about losing an identity but embracing a new one that feels more aligned with their evolving self.

Motherhood as a Transformative Life Transition

Motherhood is not just an addition to one’s identity—it can be an earthquake that rearranges everything we thought we knew about ourselves. Some women find their old priorities no longer fit. Others discover strengths, values, and desires they never realized they had. The way a woman approaches this transformation is shaped by her past experiences, personal aspirations, and even societal expectations.

Jungian psychology teaches that individuation requires engaging with the unconscious, embracing change, and reconciling internal opposites. In the context of motherhood, this means confronting the tension between personal ambitions and the maternal instinct, between independence and interdependence, between old and new identities. Each mother navigates these tensions in her own way, forging a path that reflects her unique individuation process.

For instance, cultural narratives play a significant role. Some societies glorify the full-time mother role, while others emphasize the importance of a woman maintaining financial and professional independence. Family upbringing, personal history, and previous life transitions also influence how a woman navigates this particular change.

Honoring Every Mother’s Path

There is no right or wrong choice when it comes to balancing motherhood and career. The key is recognizing that both decisions stem from an individual’s evolving self-identity. Just as no two women have identical life experiences, no two mothers will approach this transition in the same way. What matters most is that each mother feels empowered to honor her own needs and values, rather than conforming to external pressures.

As we celebrate International Women’s Day, let’s honor the diversity of maternal experiences.

Whether a mother chooses to stay home, return to work, or find a path somewhere in between, her choice is a reflection of a deeply personal and evolving self-identity. More importantly, it is part of her lifelong individuation journey—an ever-unfolding process of self-discovery and integration.

And just as identity evolves, so too can a mother’s choices. A woman may decide to return to work after staying home for a period, or she may step away from her career at a later stage.

The beauty of individuation lies in its fluidity—each stage of life offers new opportunities to reassess and redefine one’s path. And that is something truly worth celebrating.

Motherhood is a pivotal part in women's individuation journey